Thursday, June 17, 2010

I'm Not Okay (I Promise)

  • My parents are splitting up.
  • Apparently they're "staying friends".
  • They've been snapping at each other and arguing since last Summer, and it only seems to get worse.
  • My Mum has found someone else - her first boyfriend, before she married Dad.
  • They've both changed from when they first got married, but I thought they'd always be a team.
  • I noticed something was up when Mum started getting secretive about who she was emailing/texting/phoning last year.
  • Being told yesterday about the split (after my last exam) was kind of a relief, cause it confirmed my suspicions.
  • Dad only found out yesterday as well, Mum didn't want to ruin my exams by letting anything slip.
  • She's going to try and find a job in Manchester and move up there - where this bloke lives.
I'm upset.
I'm fucking angry.
I'm relieved.
I feel lost.
They both still love me.
I still love both of them.
I'm 19, but I feel about 5.
I suffer from anxiety/depression.
My world has been torn apart.
I have a wonderful boyfriend who loves me, and who holds my world together - even when it's broken.
I don't know what to do with myself any more.